About 11-11-97

It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. Hmm..Actually, better stated: It's amazing what you can do when you commit to getting something done.

November 11th, 1997 is an important date for me. No, it's not an anniversary, or the birthday of a friend (That is a strange coincidence, however) and it's not because it was Veteran's Day either.

It became my day of renewal. That date brought about changes that would forever change my life trajectory.

Before that date, I would smoke a pack of cigarettes a day while working full time as a security guard or hotel bellman. I had smoked for nearly 15 years. Some folks would tell me that I was intelligent. I think that was mostly because I was into technology.

I could imagine that I must have let them down.

While on the (mind numbing) job, I would dream up something to do on my computer once I was off work and rested. That was my life. Having attempted community college and not finished, I believed that all I was cut out for was some minimum wage job

to keep me housed and fed... and a hobby that I would like to do on my off hours.

Having a not-so-happy upbringing, I didn't value myself very highly. I didn't feel I had that much to live for and if smoking killed me...so be it.

However, on 11/11/97, something was different. I had pretty harsh chest pain.

I wasn't even 30 yet. It would have sucked if I would have died out of putting so much of how I felt about myself in the hands of others; Others who really didn't care at all. I decided, at that point, that I did have something to live for. I could live for..ME.

A second chance at the life I never had, or at least never thought I'd ever get.

I quit smoking 'cold turkey' that day. No more cigarettes. Not even part of one. I didn't want anymore chest pains.

After a year of no longer smoking, I would still dream that I had a cigarette and would wake up in sweat, trying to recall when I did and who I was with to have smoked that cigarette; and that I would have broke a promise to myself.

Luckily, there were people who, for the first time in my life, were amazed at something I had done. They told me what a challenge it is for people to quit smoking and stay away from it.

So what, right? I'm still working the same lame job with no aspiration to go on...wrong! I think that experience, similar to the one most people get from their parents when they are growing up, is exactly what I needed to improve my life.

I decided to try for a job at the Library. It was a decrease in monthly income, but afforded me the chance to think and

to be around people who were required to think to get where they were. (note: A requirement of Librarians is a Masters of Library Science degree).

Of course, this lead me to try community college again and once I had earned my Associates degree,

I was accepted some place that I would have never expected to want me as a student: San Diego State University.

A university wanted me?! Then I learned the truth. Universities don't accept you for what you already know,

they accept you for the potential of what you WILL know and of how to get that information to make reasoned, informed decisions.

Now, I find myself in a challenging job, that lets me think more about what to learn and how to enjoy life,

instead of thinking about where to find a discount meal, clothing or transportation.

Admittedly, my health has never been a priority with me. I don't exercise as much as I should. I don't hold myself to a strict diet of fruits, veggies, and lean meats.

I was more interested in what I could learn than to how to exercise better or how to build muscle.

However, I do realize that life is worth living and that we should all strive to be better than what/who we are currently.